Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize