I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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