You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i love accidental penises.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
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i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
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There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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