Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
