Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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