I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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