I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I pour the whiskey from now on
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
