Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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