Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
