he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
