Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.

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  (914): We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor. http://tfl.nu/1mpx
  Replies (26) Good night (6135) Bad night (751)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes

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  (516): i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes http://tfl.nu/j5p1
  Replies (24) Good night (939) Bad night (5752)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit

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  (551): the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit http://tfl.nu/ma7y
  Replies (45) Good night (9206) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave

  (703): View more from Virginia

  and miss being on the news....no way

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  (571): next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave (703): and miss being on the news....no way http://tfl.nu/gtrx
  Replies (21) Good night (8938) Bad night (1327)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia

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  (206): I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia http://tfl.nu/go1o
  Replies (6) Good night (2730) Bad night (1289)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.

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  (919): My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights. http://tfl.nu/zugt
  Replies (18) Good night (1068) Bad night (3620)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.

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  (610): Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun. http://tfl.nu/afxx
  Replies (5) Good night (2309) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja

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  (512): we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja http://tfl.nu/0h0h
  Replies (9) Good night (5322) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas

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  (661): It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas http://tfl.nu/7a5h
  Replies (9) Good night (1621) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  Probably

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  (715): Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment? (1-715): Probably http://tfl.nu/g5lc
  Replies (2) Good night (1462) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive

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  (704): His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be. (336): You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver. (704): Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive http://tfl.nu/8bf5
  Replies (7) Good night (1435) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good

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  (262): Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good http://tfl.nu/xfxr
  Replies (3) Good night (1259) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Is she still in your room?

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.

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  (978): Is she still in your room? (1-978): Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature. http://tfl.nu/vxhf
  Replies (8) Good night (2071) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID

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  (315): This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID http://tfl.nu/jlhh
  Replies (4) Good night (1165) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.

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  (909): I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day. http://tfl.nu/6mst
  Replies (1) Good night (572) Bad night (289)

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