I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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