I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
