No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
