absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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