Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
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I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
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we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!