Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful

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(805): singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful http://tfl.nu/6f81

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(315): View more from New York

You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.

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(315): You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter. http://tfl.nu/a7op

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(954): View more from Florida

I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm

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(954): I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm http://tfl.nu/muws

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(631): View more from New York

He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...

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(631): He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now... http://tfl.nu/8b9i

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...

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(908): i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer... http://tfl.nu/lulm

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.

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(413): Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking. http://tfl.nu/aegx

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.

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(570): In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/ifkh

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(801): View more from Utah

He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.

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(801): He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often. http://tfl.nu/6bnz

Replies (31) Good night (10362) Bad night (1051)
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(845): View more from New York

im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina

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(845): im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina http://tfl.nu/gfgs

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.

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(920): You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation. http://tfl.nu/euxm

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(551): View more from New Jersey

The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.

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(551): The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet. http://tfl.nu/8f2g

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?

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(973): I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night? http://tfl.nu/cbpu

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(907): View more from Alaska

On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face

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(907): On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face http://tfl.nu/k6gh

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.

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(570): On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me. http://tfl.nu/8dr9

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(812): View more from Indiana

I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?

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(812): I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom? http://tfl.nu/ubnw

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