Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Why did you take off so early

(224): View more from Illinois

No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.

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(561): View more from Florida

A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(425): View more from Washington

It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.

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(678): View more from Georgia

i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.

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(231): View more from Michigan

That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Come share oat with me in your robe

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