it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize