I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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