Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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