I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
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i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
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Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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