I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
