Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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