used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
