Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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