Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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