He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
