i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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