Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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