Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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