found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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