I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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