why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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