did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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