I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
