so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
