i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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