1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
