may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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