i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize