Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Houston, we have a squirter
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
