y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
