please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
is it fun? or sober?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
