i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
