the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF