I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
