There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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