i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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