I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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