Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
