you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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