do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
