I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
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If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
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Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Panties = found
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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