P.S. I can't hear my feet
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
