Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
