I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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