guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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