Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
