I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
