I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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