I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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