went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
