Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize