I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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