Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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