I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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